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I hear a lot of comedians make fun of religion or God, but I’ve never heard one focus solely on that topic, and surely for good reason, like staying employed. Anyway, here are a few jokes, silly or otherwise, that I thought of last night on the way home:

When God said, “Let there be light,” who was he talking to? “Let there be light! Oh, wait, there’s nobody here. Shit, where’s the light switch?” Pause. “Oh, yeah, there it is.”

Have you ever wondered why it took God six whole days to make everything? He can do anything, but, for some divinely inspired reason, it took 144 hours to make the Heavens and the Earth. Really? I think God is lazy. I think he’s a slacker just like the rest of us. He probably plays World of Warcraft.

I don’t really believe in God, but, sometimes, just for fun, I like to pray for impossible things. I like to say stuff like, “Dear Lord, please keep Kenny alive.” Or, “Dear Lord, please help Pinocchio stop lying.” “Better yet, please turn him into a real, live boy. But not Jewish. He’s had enough problems with his nose.”